By Dr. Tim Orr
Every year on June 27th, Faith and I honor the life of someone who profoundly shaped our own—Michelle. We go out to dinner, not to mourn her absence but to celebrate the vibrant memories she left behind. We share stories, laugh, and reflect on how her life influences us. Michelle was more than just a devoted wife to me and a nurturing mother to Faith; she was the glue that held our family together, the spark that ignited our journey. This blog is a testament to our adoption story, a journey filled with faith, challenges, and an abundance of love and joy.
The Journey to Faith
Our journey to adopting Faith began with a longing in our hearts to become parents. Michelle and I had prayed and hoped for a child for years, facing each disappointment with a heavy heart but unwavering faith. It was during one of these moments of despair that we turned to adoption, feeling a strong pull towards this path. The process was long and often disheartening, filled with paperwork, interviews, and waiting. But through it all, we held onto believing God had a plan for us.
If you’ve ever read the story of Abraham and Sarah, you might share my bewilderment. How could these two paragons of faith doubt God's promise that they would become parents? Years before, God had spoken directly to Abraham, revealing that he and Sarah would have a son. Yet, they both laughed when they heard the news, finding it hard to believe, given Sarah's advanced age. God's response was both timeless and reassuring: "Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the appointed time, I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son" (Gen. 18:14). Indeed, God always fulfills His promises, though sometimes in ways we least expect.
Michelle and I found ourselves in a similar position, doubting the promise that we would one day have a child. Our path to becoming parents was fraught with emotional and spiritual challenges. Before adopting Faith, we faced a crisis that tested our faith deeply, echoing the Lord's question to Abraham and Sarah: "Is anything too hard for God?"
A Crisis of Faith
As the day of Faith’s birth approached, Michelle and I were allowed to meet with doctors to discuss her medical status. We expected to hear about Down syndrome and its associated challenges, but we were unprepared for the additional news about a possible diagnosis of Dandy-Walker syndrome. This condition could affect Faith’s brain, severely impacting her motor skills, coordination, and overall development. The prognosis was grim—Faith might not walk, talk, or even feed herself. She could have a shortened life span or even die before we got to know her.
We were devastated. Michelle sobbed uncontrollably on the way home while I frantically searched the internet for information about the syndrome. Michelle, in her anguish, prostrated herself in the baby’s room, crying out to God. She called a friend for support and prayer. Meanwhile, I reached out to my mother, who shared a poignant story from my childhood. It was about a woman who had given birth to a severely deformed child and decided she couldn’t raise her, leaving the baby behind. Her words, "I can’t raise someone like that," haunted me. I knew I couldn't be that kind of parent at that moment. God had made it clear—Faith was our daughter, and no diagnosis would change that.
When Michelle’s friend arrived, they prayed over Faith's crib. Until then, Michelle hadn’t been able to form words for prayer, only tears. But as her friend prayed, Michelle felt a burden lift from her shoulders. Faith would be fine, or God would provide the strength to handle any challenges. We were committed to our daughter and refused to back out.
The Power of Community
Throughout this journey, we were surrounded by an incredible community of friends and family who supported us. They prayed with us, cried with us, and celebrated with us. Their encouragement and love were vital in helping us stay strong. One moment stands out in my memory: the day we brought Faith home. Our house was filled with people who came to welcome her, each one echoing the sentiment that Faith was special and that she was meant to be with us.
Watching Michelle embrace motherhood was particularly rewarding. She had always been a loving and caring presence for countless kids in our ministry, and now, she fulfilled her calling as a mother with grace and devotion. Michelle sacrificed sleep and comfort for Faith, embodying the nurturing spirit described in Proverbs 31, the ideal wife and mother.
A Legacy of Love
Reflecting on our journey, I see a story of faith, love, and unwavering commitment. Michelle’s legacy lives on in Faith, whose name is a testament to the journey that brought her into our lives. Our annual dinner on June 27th is a tradition and a celebration of the life that brought us together and the faith that carried us through.
In sharing our story, I hope to inspire others to face their challenges. Life’s trials can be overwhelming, but with faith, love, and the support of a community, we can overcome them. Our journey with Faith taught us that nothing is too hard for God and that His promises are always fulfilled, often in ways we could never have imagined.
Our story is a testament to the incredible impact one life can have on another. Michelle’s love and faith continue to guide us, and her legacy is carried forward in the life of our precious daughter, Faith. As we honor her memory each year, we are reminded of the power of God’s love and the strength of the human spirit. Our journey is far from over, but with each step, we carry the lessons of faith, hope, and unwavering love that Michelle taught us..
For more insights into our journey and the lessons we've learned, you can read my books We Named Her Faith and Letters to My Daughter: How I Overcame Tragedy and Found Hope.